5 Ways to Get Out of Your Own Way and Pursue Your Dreams

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1. Realize That You Have Something of Value That Other People Want

Don't make the mistake of thinking that you have nothing anybody wants, or assuming that other people are as skilled or as knowledgeable as you are in a particular area. Whether it be computer programing, graphic design, makeup artistry, knitting, skincare, sketching--everybody has something to offer someone else.

People have different skills and strengths. Yours are here for a reason, and people need you to bring them into the world and into their lives. Think of it as a public service that you might actually make some money from in the future.

2. Know This: No, Your Idea Isn’t Stupid

If you have a family to support and you suddenly decide to quit your job to go live with aboriginal tribes, that might not be the best idea. But your goal, dream, or burning desire—that thing you come back to again and again—is not stupid. If it were stupid, you wouldn’t be thinking about it. It simply wouldn’t even occur to you. You return to the idea because your higher self, mind, or spirit—whatever you call it—knows what it wants and is directed toward very specific purposes.

Inspirations and dreams come from the mysterious universe; they don’t just hit a person randomly or arbitrarily. They come to a specific person because that person has the imagination and energy to bring that particular idea into reality.

So, by all means, be realistic and attentive to your day-to-day responsibilities, but don’t demean your ideas and dreams. People have had “dumber” or more “far-fetched” ideas than you that have yielded amazing returns.

3. Don’t Rely too Much on Inspirational Porn or Success Stories

I think reading the success stories of others is a great use of time because it’s encouraging to see how someone started at square one and worked their way up. It also helps you develop ideas for building your own business or brand or whatever it is you’re working on. But when you binge on success stories, you could plant self-defeating seeds in your head about how your own success story might play out. Instead of acting and manifesting and energetically building your dream, you get too caught up in your head and overthink things. Or, you become discouraged because you feel like you could never live up to another person’s example.

At first, I became discouraged when I began researching entrepreneurs, bloggers, and business owners because so many of them found success utilizing skills that I don’t possess. I’m not very analytical. I don’t code or understand graphic design or how to play the stock market. I’m not at all good at math.

But when I took a deep breath, calmed down, and took inventory of what I am good at, I was able to make a comprehensive list of those things. And those things, like your things, are valuable. They’re just different from other people’s skills, which is absolutely the way it should be.

Also, watch out for inspirational porn. We all love a good motivational quote, but you can waste too much time and energy thinking about doing something rather than taking the necessary steps to actually bring a goal to fruition. What’s most important is taking action, however small or timid.

4. Take Action, However Small

Take action, however small. If you’re a procrastinator, like me, you like to sit around and read inspirational stories and create fantasies in your head about your future. But when it comes down to taking a step, you’re easily overwhelmed. All those “boys in the basement”--those self doubts and worries and anxieties that tell you you’re stupid and talentless—start clamoring for attention in your head.

Sometimes you don’t know what first steps to take. Not a problem! You don’t have to know which steps to take, but you do need to grope around in the fog until you find some footing.

Write a blog post. Watch a seminar or TED Talk that pertains to your vision. Pick up a book about your area of interest. Follow some bloggers who are doing the type of work you’re interested in. Create a budget. Create a deadline for quitting your job.

Hell, take a break and play a video game or watch some reality tv. There’s nothing wrong with a little downtime if your brain is feeling fried. But don’t give up just when the going gets tough. You’ll know when you actually deserve a break and when you’re just giving up.

5. Don’t Go It Alone

You will quickly learn, if you haven’t already, that no matter how big or small your dream is, you cannot achieve it by yourself. And your experience of creating that dream and finding it will be so much richer because you will have had that personal, tender touch of a friend, spouse, sibling, or mentor along the way.

There’s a quote by Wendell Berry which says “we clasp the hands of those who go before us.”

Clasp the hands of those who have gone before you, who have built the kind of life you are looking to create for yourself.

Most people like to help other people, and they are really flattered when people come to them for advice. It shows them that they’ve achieved something within their field, and that they are respected for their expertise and experience.

So, if you need advice or direction or encouragement, reach out to an entrepreneur or blogger or vlogger or whoever it is that you admire. I don’t care if it’s Bill Gates or a reality star, there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to people you admire. You might get an email or a letter back, or you might even get a new opportunity.

But, long story short, you need people to encourage and advise you along the way. We can’t do anything alone, and anything we can do alone maybe isn’t all that worth doing.

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